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LIVE 8? How was it?
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 11:14:54: 07/03/2005) Not going to take the time to be serious. This is Frotuss.com, not The National Enquirer. Well. Anything is possible. Kabalah Queen Madanna, or Louise, whatever her name is said, "Coming on Fucking London" and flipped everybody the bird. And two songs later or so, San Francisco nitrous-oxide induced garage band, Green Day, doubtlessly pleased the crowd with their song, "American Idiot." These are just some preliminary analyses, of the cynical nature. We have yet to read about how Waters and Floyd faired, which, for frotifiers worldwide carried far greater implications for the psyche of the realm than any sort of charitible benefit that was going on. Oh. And as the BBC World was reporting, the reported said to the effect, "This was an event where you were supposed to check your ego at the door. But that hasn't stopped a few celebrities, and they are out here in great number, from coming to blows with one another. We won't name names though." That was kind of funny. Sleepy looking Guy's Bootleg to be sold at Starbucks
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 21:27:53: 06/28/2005)Coinciding with Martin Scorcese's film about Dylan: No Direction Home, Starbuck's will be releasing a CD of bootlegs by the most prolific songwriter of the last fifty years. For the past 20 years he's looked sleepy as hell so maybe he'll start drinking some coffee and perk up. Darkness at the break of noon... no longer. All along the watchtower, princess kept the view, more awake now, don't need no relief.... See, with coffee as the solution to all of Dylan's character's dilemmas he'll have to start writing about fewer delirium induced characters. But who cares really. The rambling, wandering, meaningly meaningless bard who's walked down all the roads and blown in the wind and taught the Beatles to inhale the wind has plenty of songs to sing. We will all love listening to him with our cocaine-like Starbuck's buzzes. Surely. MakeOutClub.com
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 06:50:03: 06/22/2005) As if there weren't enough websites on the internet to find people to cheat in one way or another with there is yet another that seems to feature college-age girls like the one who's dubbed herself "twisted crisco" above, pictured. There is all this hope out there for the loser guy to find a woman on the internet but it is mostly pure fantasy. The loser guy will be forced to sign up and submit his picture and even if the loser guy does happen to be sort of attractive the website will emit nothing but vapor.... Read the about section here and see if you think that it might be for horny men or not: Weed Does Not Kill Cancer, But A Virus Does
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 22:14:43: 06/21/2005) The virus, called adeno-associated virus type 2, or AAV-2, infects an estimated 80 percent of the population. "Our results suggest that adeno-associated virus type 2, which infects the majority of the population but has no known ill effects, kills multiple types of cancer cells yet has no effect on healthy cells," said Craig Meyers, a professor of microbiology and immunology at the Penn State College of Medicine in Pennsylvania. "We believe that AAV-2 recognizes that the cancer cells are abnormal and destroys them. This suggests that AAV-2 has great potential to be developed as an anti-cancer agent," Meyers said in a statement. He said at a meeting of the American Society for Virology that studies have shown women infected with AAV-2 who are also infected with a cancer-causing wart virus called HPV develop cervical cancer less frequently than uninfected women do. AAV-2 is a small virus that cannot replicate itself without the help of another virus. But with the help of a second virus it kills cells. For their study, Meyers and colleagues first infected a batch of human cells with HPV, some strains of which cause cervical cancer. They then infected these cells and normal cells with AAV-2. After six days, all the HPV-infected cells died. The same thing happened with cervical, breast, prostate and squamous cell tumor cells. All are cancers of the epithelial cells, which include skin cells and other cells that line the insides and outsides of organs. "One of the most compelling findings is that AAV-2 appears to have no pathologic effects on healthy cells," Meyers said. "So many cancer therapies are as poisonous to healthy cells as they are to cancer cells. A therapy that is able to distinguish between healthy and cancer cells could be less difficult to endure for those with cancer." AAV-2 is being studied intensively as a gene therapy vector -- a virus modified to carry disease-correcting genes into the body. Gene therapy researchers favor it because it does not seem to cause disease or immune system reaction on its own.
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 10:13:56: 06/18/2005) Frotifiers
should take note and begin laughing their asses off right about now.
Nudists have begun calling themselves "naturists". According
to people who speak on behalf of the American Association for Nude
Recreation (AANR) and Caliente Resort, an upscale nudist colony near
Tampa "it's good clean fun." There are
cruises that people can take with ships full of nudists... naturists
(sorry). Imagine being employed for one of the cruise lines when all
these loony tunes come aboard. The lady in the above photo is most
likely from the ad. Real people who like to get naked in front of other
people are just trying to coax the really good looking people into
getting nekkid.
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 21:55:34: 06/14/2005) The quarterback proclaimed himself as God to the cops as he was getting pepper sprayed. Who hasn't? This is an old chestnut. Diagnosis: LSD/or mushrooms Prognosis: loss of starting position, hospitalization and a probable realization that he's not actually God or the Son of God. He's still cool in our book. Whoever get's named after the lead character as Kelly LeBrock's (pictured below) fellow, Wyatt in "Weird Science" is alright, especially if Bill Pullman of Twister fame is playing the asshole older brother Chet who gets hilariously turned into a giant puffing, fuming turd. Wyatt Sexton. Wyatt should've doubled up on his frotuss intake and he'd never have had that problem most of us face at one moment or another through starvation, hallucinogens, perhaps even ergot poisoning from stale rye bread left on top of your mini fridge in your old college apartment leading to your arrest in front of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame at 4:30am asking the cops if they were the Spiders from Mars. Wyatt didn't even get inquisitive. He just spewed it out. Bundles of Cocaine wash up on Broward County Beach
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 16:56:09: 06/11/2005) In case you were wondering what happened to your bundles of cocaine it's okay. You can rest easy now because 6 and a half pounds washed up on the beach this morning in Broward County Florida. A resident spotted a one kilo bag around 7:30 am this morning near the Deerfield Beach pier. Another 2 were found on the beach further south in Fort Lauderdale. The street value is estimated to be worth over $100,000. So you're out a 100k in coke but at least you know where it is now. Lesson number two is that it pays to go to the beach even on crappy days in south Florida. Weird Science: cum on genes! (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 21:21:33: 06/07/2005) Reuters in London is reporting that women who have difficulty reaching orgasm can blame their genes. Researchers have found that like any other scientific health related item there is a genetic basis, judging by the 1,397 pairs of female twins that were used in this study. "We found that between 34 percent and 45 percent of the variation in ability to orgasm (always fun when orgasm is used as a verb) can be explained by underlying genetic variation," said Tim Spector of the Twin Research Unit at St. Thomas' Hospital in London. "There is is a biological underlying influence that can't be attributed purely to upbinging, religion or race," he added. Between 12-15 percent of women don't have orgasms compared to about 2 percent of men. Males are also quicker at 2.5 minutes, while the average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm is 12 minutes, according to Spector. "Why is there this biological difference between the sexes? The fact that some of this is heritable suggests that evolution has a role," he told a news conference. Spector suggested reaching an orgasm could be a way for women to assess whether a man would make a good long-term partner. It may also increase fertility, according to some theories. In a study of identical and non-identical twins published on Wednesday in the journal Biology Letters, Spector and his team found huge variations when they surveyed them about sexual problems. One in three women, or 32 percent, said they never or infrequently had an orgasm. But 14 percent said they always had an orgasm during intercourse (hooray for them! 2 to 1 in favor of the "Nevers" however... how much can this be blamed on the men????). "More women were able to orgasm during masturbation, with 34 percent always reaching orgasm, (praise be to God)" the researchers said in the journal. The frequency of orgasm was higher for identical twins with a partner and by themselves which suggests a clear genetic impact, said Spector. (We're thinking Coors Light would've been a good sponsor of this research)."There is something biological that explains some of this large variation between women," he said, adding that many genes could be involved. If scientists could discover which genes and how they function, it could potentially pave the way for future therapies to treat women who cannot reach orgasm. But Spector said orgasm is a very complex process which is poorly understood. Little research has been done because it is still a taboo subject. Anatomical and biological features and psychological factors may all play a part.**Frotuss observation: in no place do the researchers actually blame men for inadequecy. Qu-ran Mishandled: Mis-shambled (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 01:20:39: 06/03/2005) Across the world wide web this phony Bush pictured and fascinated by the holiest (supposedly) book, the Koran, is being depicted as the ultimate blasphemor. Funny enough he's shown reading the table of contents, which is a far too intelligent portrayal for his detractors. Nevermind that the guy in the above picture looks at least 10 years younger (and greedily in awe of the great book). This just shows you firsthand what lengths people will go through to get other assholes to go and blow themselves up in the name of their cause. What would happen if America sanctioned such efforts? Let's say you get your name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame if you blow yourself up and say, at least 75 other people of dissimilar worldviews as you. Hmmm? Wonder who'd win if we sent every one of our helpless stupid shlubs to plot against our suicidal foes in the most dastardly of sciences. The answer is pretty obvious. In America, often referred to as Generica for all the hopeless, hapless lack of beauty imminent upon us thanks to strip malls and other generic lack of humanity. The answer is simple: We'd have a million Jack Nicholsons to embalm along the Hollywood strip and nobody left to go and watch movies. No more suicide bombers. No more middle east or korean peninsula but at least we could read about our guys blowing up some of their guys for a change. Horrible? Fact? Afraid so. See this Song for Reference: ALICE IN CHAINS - "Hate To Feel" What's Gone Wrong, I Can't See Straight Nixon: Felt Suspected (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 22:43:01: 06/02/2005) Paranoid frotifiers all agree that W. Mark Felt is another congruous name in this mystery that is the United States and semi-modern history. Deepthroat = Felt. Greenspan = Money Supply Controller. Coincidence? Nixon was nixed by Felt who was deepthroat forever and they were all kids when Hoover sucked. Greenspan creates bubbles in the economy and in Washington nobody really even has a job. It's almost as if your last name is your destiny... Frotilicious. Most Americans believe in Martians (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 05:29:05: 06/02/2005) According to recent survey 60 percent of Americans believe that there is life outside of the bounds of earth. Scientist Seth Shostak, senior astronomer from SETI, stated that we will find signs of life by the year 2025. This sure is frotific news. But why so few people subscribing to the notion of aliens as a possibility? Obviously, it's these 40 percent who've never engaged an alien recognizance ship or even been abducted. A commonly held notion is that God drives a flying saucer, thus making us appear more and more like some petri dish experiment. Isn't that both beautifl and tormentingly ugly? Notions like these are what gives such power to operatic sci-fi experiences as "The Matrix" and The Star Wars episodes (there are around 60 books so fret not about more sequels). Frotifiers often know what they know and on another level they know even more than that. |
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