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Musburger, Busted (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 21:21:19: 09/19/2005) LINCOLN, Neb. -- An ABC sportscaster was ticketed by Lincoln police after Saturday's Nebraska football game.
Maybe he was playing the world famous Musburger drinking game with himself. Done whining: How about some more teachers "seducing" 16-17 year old boys?(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 21:47:10: 09/18/2005)Traci J. Tapp, 28, who was hired at Hammonton High School in January 2001,
was suspended with pay in March 2005 after a mother of one of the students
brought the allegations to the attention of school officials, according to the
Atlantic County Prosecutor's Office. The risk a teacher runs with having "relations" with juvenile delinquents is that they often become jealous or "fall in love" rather easily and it's just a matter of time before they turn on you. There's no picture of this one on the web yet, but let us imagine that she is hot. She's a gym teacher so it's not incredibly likely that she's scrumptious but all the other sex-starved teachers have been hot so why think differently? She's been accused of having sex with 3 separate boys and was being held on a $25,000 bond. And the refrain continues from all the gentlemen that I know: "Where were these horny teachers when we were in school?" Texas brings their own refs and win handily, 25-22 in Ohio Stadium (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 20:29:10: 09/15/2005) One of the benefits of being the away team when you play Ohio State and you're from another conference is that you get to bring your own referees to the Horseshoe.So, I like Ohio State, however I couldn't help but notice that Texas's Big Tailback's knee was down before he scrambled forward for three more yards on a critical drive early in the first quarter. If you think that this guy's hands aren't on the facemask of Justin Zwick as he fumbled away Ohio State's last real hope for a drive then you agree with the refs on this one because they didn't call anything on this one either. In the NFL this player might be fined 10,000 dollars and possibly suspended for a game or two, but not with Big 12 refs. No More Rice Krispies (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 22:08:12: 09/05/2005) Jerry Rice Krispy retires after 35 years in pro football. Or maybe it just seemed that way. He never realy seemed like the fastest guy on the field but maybe just the smoothest most always open guy.Aside from having the most untouchable records in receiving and being a Hall of Famer who should have his own wing Rice Krispy played with class and was a great role model. The last few years were fun watching him play in Oaktown with another guy who never wanted to ever quit, Tim Brown. Casualties of the game? Yes, of course. Every year new guys want to come into the leage and other guys get knocked out because of a lack of speed and lack of production. For Rice Krispy to have played 40 years in the league, it's really quite something. It probably took a lot of frotuss and training. Holy Mother of Leather Sofa: It's Football Season!! (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 21:04:51: 09/01/2005) Listen up sons-a-bitches. It's pigskin season. Life means a lot more now than it does during those other meaningless 8 months of drudgery, sweat, stupidity.The sport of kings might be horse racing. But the sport of mean mothers and their children is pigskin. It takes brains (yes, brains, soccer boys- you crazy frotifiers), brawn, speed, quickness and poise. So get ready. Get your frotuss. Get comfortable. Get your cowbell. Catastrophe, Calamity: Dry Tears (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 22:34:53: 08/31/2005) Opel is an off-brand of General Motors in Europe. Generally, it's pretty shitty. Vinyl seats, SUV, etc. No Benz.But at this second, my brother has just called me from a Coldplay show in Columbus. He's half thrilled because he's stealing somebody's seats. Meanwhile. On the other side of big rivers people in the New Orleans/Mississippi Delta River region are struggling for survival. In America! Most Americans could give 2 shits and it might as well be on the other side of the planet and they wouldn't care if it was 2 miles down the road. That's the range of our inappropriate behavior these days. Keep your head down and get the fuck to work, assholes! I'm amazed that we even pay any attention to our celebrities. You better have a real heartfelt story to get us interested. You could've met a guy last week. Had dinner with him. He might've gotten assassinated a week later and you would've said "so fucking what". It's true. We hate each other. And we hate ourselves. We'd feel better about ourselves if we were dead and why is that? Why do we live in such a world if we can't make it better. IF all there is good to actually talk about is about how fucking sunny it is outside. If that's the world we live in then it's not a wonder that we envy those who die tragically in hurricanes and Iraqi or Palastinean or Al Quaeda gunfire. Such pride is heard from the lips of that person who says, "my cousin died in nine-eleven", but I really hope not. Listenting to Opel, the album by Syd Barrett, which I love but can't understand for anything but for the sake of just getting a scrambled message the message, overall, somehow gets through to me. You're alive. And nobody cares (for too long). It's best not to get too attached to anyone. In my profession I deal with widows and widowers and you'd swear, by God, that most of those people are much happier single than they were only weeks before. I know. That sounds horrible. But think about it for more than 2 seconds and realize what hell people go through before they die (or live, for that matter). *Syd Barrett went to school with David Bowie and John Lennon (same high school at the same time); art school. Frotify & Smile (Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 11:29:23: 08/29/2005) Who needs fine wine? At this Seattle event this old Frotifier looks more mellow than any of her young comrades milling about getting frotific.Something tells me that this event should've been sponsored by Dominos Pizza, Coca Cola and for squintey-eyed old women, Lenscrafters. If you ever wondered how they rolled joints in the 1950s, just check her out and realize roach or not, she knows how to get her frotuss on. COPS: AMERICA's Sweaty Underbelly(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 19:45:00: 08/20/2005) Since football season is exactly 2 weeks away, and I already feel like it's over before it's even begun I'm spending my Saturday mid-afternoon caring for my 4 month old baby boy who is currently not exactly happy about anything, watching a cops marathon on court tv. How in the world did we get so many pieces of white trash in America? I love those bastards. I can't watch giant meatheads punish each other on the football field yet, so I can count on cops to give me my fix while keeping me cool (Florida summer weather, egads!) and SAFE (thank you ADT) in my home on quiet weekends.Every television show can can give you a lifetime's worth of laughs. For instance, one of my friends always quotes me telling the story of the big red headed guy pacing in front of a 7Eleven wondering where his car went after he "loaned it" to two black guys to get him some crack... "To tell you the truth officer... I got high tonight." That story is from the cafeteria in our high school 13 years ago. And man, it just takes us right back there. Safety is probably the key element I enjoy the most about Cops. While I'd love to go observe them in their natural habitat, a kind of "mullefari (mullet safari)" (see: mulletsgalore.com) being a father and a somewhat sensible person, I wouldn't find that kind of brave expedition very prudent. I used to think that episode ruled, but then I began getting more serious about my Cops watching and realized every episode has something amazing to offer about the gross underbelly of America- and the longest lasting, deep impacting reality series of all time. The only reality series where reruns are still awesome. None of this one and done bullshit. Regular Kid Right? |
| DEFINITION: | (adjective) able to recover from difficulty. |
| EXAMPLE: | A pro athlete must be resilient, able to lose a game one day and come back the next with confidence and enthusiasm. |
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 07/30/2005: 22:37:51) Yahoo's word of the day was enough to start a person thinking outside of the box about so many other topics that just might bring to mind the wonderful word "resilient".
Sony corporation brings to mind an unabashed resiliency to pay for the hearts and minds millions of mainstream-thinking Americans with their pay-for-play of music and to radio stations. Thus, with no small doses of mindnumbing recordings by flavors of the month types humble listeners eventually find themselves standing in the aisles of the nearest Best Buy or what have you purchasing the tracks to Madonna or Eminem or Brittney(sp?) so that when they drive their cars through their streets with their windows down and the base kicking and their ears bleeding they can sing right along and memorize every little nuanced lyric by such fascinating minds this world has never seen.
Forget about the resilience with which the other record labels seem to have for not getting noticed for this very same plot. It's obvious that this sort of brainwashing of America has gone on for eons, if not decades. Americans and other more indigenous populations are prone to the same sort of mass manipulation. Herd thinking is a resilient thing.
The sad part of it is that we oft are provoked into such silliness completely unware as Jimmy Bob, Freddy Joe, and Emma Lu all buy the Sonny Crocket leisure wear and we find it good also. Is it such a bad thing that General Electric, Sony, David Geffen, Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Eminem, Britney(sp?) and their ilk have been influencing us and our offspring?
Probably not, because everyone should be responsible for themselves and not get influenced so easily to kill, rape and pillage. There are a lot of zeros walking around out there and you can spot them almost everywhere. They're the people you meet who have no conscience, little imagination and little free will. They are zeros. If you look inside to find a soul, you get the number zero. Watch out for them. They're dangerous once they get a wild notion passing through them. It influences them long enough to do damage. Their arteries and will gets provoked like a strong breeze blowing through fields of tall wheat or rye trembling like waves. For a moment fuzzy thought becomes distilled; crystallized and for one shiny moment they have their chance to become human or go the other way.
Ohhhh... Isrealites....
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 07/28/2005: 22:37:51) Lie Down... You're Dead... Don't want to be like Bonnie and Clyde... ooooohhhhh ohh, Isrealites...
This is a Frotuss Special.Last night we observed said film, Drugstore Cowboy, and the featured song was "Isrealites" by Desmond Dekker.
Tonight, brother Weed-boy, Turkish, or whatever we call him here and his little fluffy white pup, said, "Oh... dude, you gotta hear Isrealites, by Desmond Dekker."
He almost got the shit kicked out of him but he was 1200 miles away and this was not possible via the telly, so we agreed that we were literally 1.4 seconds away from telling each other to go out and listen to the exact same song. If that doesn't tell you something about growing up in the same womb then I don't know what does.
In the meantime, get ready for insanity because there is plenty stored. Just wait about five days or five minutes. Whichever comes.
You're a Daisey if You Do... Threeway with Jude...
(Associated Frotuss Press Wires: 07/20/2005: 11:15:12) According to the Nyew York Post, Jude Law is still begging fiancée Sienna Miller for forgiveness after admitting his affair with his kids' nanny. The post reports that it's not going well.
It didn't help that someone claimed yesterday that the 32-year-old star once invited 26-year-old child-minder Daisy Wright to join him in a three-way. (Can you really blame him for trying?)
"[Jude] made the offer out of the blue while they were in America," a source told Britain's Sun.
The source claimed Wright, "a respectable (this is very debatable) young girl," told Law "'no' in no uncertain terms."
Meanwhile, "Jude's been leaving Sienna, like, a million missed calls on
her mobile and she hasn't picked up once," a friend told Us Weekly. (This surely must be a sign of something.)
Miller, 23, hid her face Monday night when she showed up to perform in the London production of Shakespeare's "As You Like It." But she made sure photographers saw that her left hand was missing her gold-and-platinum engagement ring.
Law and Miller are said to have met at a secret countryside location over the weekend, but her mother, Josephine, reported that "Sienna is angry and wants to be alone."
Good ol' Josephine.
Frotify and Smile.